Category Archives: Love

Pick up a Pen & Put it on a Paper

Writing journal entries was a habit of mine. In fact, I used to do it on a daily basis that it’s almost difficult for me to sleep at night and end the day without having written about my thoughts and experiences in my journal. I loved how writing makes me recognize my thoughts and my feelings.

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(credits to the owner of this photo, who I don’t, know coz I just randomly grabbed it)

You see, nowadays, we just tend to go on with our daily struggles and deal with different kinds of situations without noticing how much each of them may have affected us internally. We are so used to just push aside whatever negative emotions we have like fears, anxiety, apprehensions and sadness because that’s what people around us expect for us to do; they expect to always see us on the best version of ourselves. Why? Let’s admit it, life per se is hard enough for all of us. So, we would feel like we need to keep our problems to ourselves because we can’t burden others anymore when, in fact, they’re dealing with so much bullshit by themselves already (FOR THOSE  WHO THINK LIKE THIS, THIS IS NOT TRUE AT ALL- ANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS VALID SO DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF).

In reality, we can’t even share about those things anymore for the fear of being judged and called immature, overly dramatic and emotional. So, instead of acknowledging them, we choose to ignore them and just live without really feeling alive, but, for me, that’s not good at all. If I simply ignore my thoughts and feelings, I know that I’m not being fair to myself. It’s not healthy if I just let the emotions eat me, and I can’t bear the thought of letting the negativity swallow my entire being, slowly killing my heart and my soul until it can no longer feel anything. I’m not a therapist or a psychologist nor am I a professional specializing in this kind of field, but I know for a fact that it’s not healthy to keep  things to yourself, especially not those things that constantly bug your mind and tend to put you in a state of anxiety, depression, and self-depreciation.

Acknowledge the fact that you are feeling sad, anxious, lonely, etc., but never succumb to these emotions. Let it all out. If you feel a bit insecure and uncomfortable of sharing it to others, then you can always get your pen and write it all out on a paper.

I did say that writing WAS my habit. Well, it still is, but not as much as it used to be. Does that make sense? I mean I just didn’t write as much as I used to before. It’s been a while since I ever had that feeling of needing to constantly grab my pen and journal notebook. Maybe it’s because of what I said in the previous paragraph that we tend to neglect our own thoughts and feelings because we’re too consumed on what we’re going through  like our careers and jobs, perhaps. No matter what we do though, there will always be some sort of stressors that may come along the way,  and we can’t just shut it out of our system and ignore it because, believe me, in the long run it will eventually take its toll on us and all the pent-up feelings  will come bursting; when that time comes, I just know it will be ugly. So, just for some sort of damage control or an alternative outlet to release stress or repressed feelings, I take the pleasure of pouring out everything through writing.

Writing journal or writing in general, for me, is fun. Just like listening to music or reading a good book, it takes me to a different place, somehow, but at the same time it also keeps me grounded and aware of how I truly, deeply feel.

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Please check out my other site

So I just happened to make another site which is quite similar to wordpress, but I have a different purpose of creating that site. I’d like to advocate for the children with special needs (CWSN). Yes, I am a special education teacher (in the future). I mean, I’m still in my third year of studying special education. Yes, I am in love with special education and I’m hoping that in the near future, I could live up my principles of being a special education teacher.

For the mean time, I’d like to share to everyone my own experiences in my endeavors to be of service to the CWSN especially since their number has been greatly increasing today. In line with this, I hope that many people will help me in my advocacy in spreading awareness about special education and more importantly our brothers and sisters who have special needs.

This is the link to my advocacy——- http://cutieobriene.wix.com/obriene

Moving On

I cried enough tears, but I still can’t get the painful feeling off of my chest.  One time you talked to me as if you can’t live without me, and then the next time you acted like you don’t even want to see me. You’re troubling my heart, my poor heart who only wants to feel loved and cherished. Although I know this is just a temporary feeling. Is it too much if I to ask you to tell me you’d stay? Even if it’s just pretend, even if you don’t mean it, please tell me you’re sorry. I’m only asking you to say those words,  those meaningless words. If not, then just tell me you never did love me; by then I would learn to accept it, that everything was just a plain memory. How I wish that I wouldn’t feel so confused until now. Even if you don’t care anymore, please help me forget, help me move on, and let’s say our farewells to each other.

Lost

“I looked in my rear-view mirror and it seemed to make a lot more sense than what I see ahead of us.

I feel like my heart is stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, I’m under pressure coz I can’t have you the way that I want. Let’s just go back to the way it was when we were on honeymoon avenue.”

-Ariana Grande (Honeymoon Avenue)

The feeling that you once had and was lost… You’re holding on to the wonderful memories of the past and then you yearn for that particular emotion and you wish there’s a chance for you to have it back.

What a Cool God I Have

I have so many plans for today; I thought I could not do everything altogether, but God must have put His miracles into actions because with His grace, I was actually able to do everything as I planned to. What I thought was impossible, suddenly became very possible. It is just like when everything’s falling into their right places and everything’s done at the right time. What a cool God I have.  Jesus, You’re truly amazing and no words can ever express how great You are. Your Love knows no limits and boundaries, it must even be beyond the infinities.